thing provider

i was dubbed 'thing-provider' years ago because i insist on giving gifts to sij of all sorts. whenever i go somewhere, i find something for him. very rarely is it a useful something, but it is frequently a something that has caught my fancy in the best way. if i find it in a junk shop it is likely that i have carried it delicately about the store and put it down and picked it up and turned it every direction examining it, and sometimes even put it back and then come again for it the next day. if i find it elsewhere, on a beach or in a wood, i have caressed it gently and carried it carefully back to my car or my room and looked at it half awake in the early morning and touched it to my tongue or rubbed it against my cheek.
i love the things i give and think perhaps that passing them on is the only way to spread any of that love. i don't know. perhaps i am fooling myself.